An addiction is a dependence that takes up most of a person’s thoughts. For addiction, a person can give all their free (and even busy) time, including all their energy and a significant part of their life. The most dangerous are alcoholic and narcotic dependencies etc., but there is also sexual addiction, which can also cause a person a lot of troubles. Although the unhealthy excessive desire for sex is usually named simple debauchery, this can also be a disease. A sick person does not need lectures on morality, but rather competent treatment.

Definition of Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is a problem dangerous for both men (satyriasis) and women (nymphomania). In this state, a person cannot control his behavior. This can be a total dependence, when even with short-term abstinence a person goes panic, hypersexual, or have compulsive sexual behavior.

Despite the fact that a person has no narcotic addiction, he is dependent on his own actions. This means that a person, most likely, needs treatment. Without treatment, the state of a person with sexual addiction will only worsen.

According to statistics in the US, up to 30 million people (both men and women) are suffering from sexual addiction. To diagnose sexual dependence on chemical analysis is not yet possible, despite the fact that it is similar to narcotic dependence.

Sexual addiction can be expressed not only by the constant desire to have sex or fast changing partners, but it can also have many other forms. Among them are:

• prostitution;
• pornography;
• voyeurism;
• exhibitionism;
• sadomasochism;
• desire to have sex many times a day.

It is noteworthy that an interest in pornography and prostitution in itself is not a disease. It is only in cases of excessive use of these services, like a drug addict who urgently needs a dose.

What Are the Effects on the Brain?

It is generally believed that narcotic dependence causes changes in the brain, but this is not at all the case. Sexual addiction also has same effects on the brain. When a person gets pleasure, dopamine is produced. This hormone becomes a reward for the perfect action. Dopamine is released every time a person does some kind of pleasant action — consuming food, having sex, doing a sport, learning something, etc. Thus, nature forms a habit in a person, which helps them to stay healthy, strong, smart, and more sociable. Unfortunately, the brain is not able to distinguish a bad habit from a good one. Everything that causes a person to produce dopamine makes him repeat the action.

Every time a sexual addict commits a particular sexual act, a person gets dopamine and a powerful release of endorphins, which makes him search for sexual pleasure again and again. It turns into a vicious circle, exactly the same as with drug addicted people. Often it happens that without additional medication and rehab it is simply impossible to return to the normal way of life.

What Causes This Disease?

The mechanism of sexual addiction emergence has not yet been fully studied, but its scheme is quite clear. Dopamine positively reinforces the sexual activity of a person, and he begins to like it. More actions equals more dopamine equals more fun. Gradually, the brain makes a fatal mistake and perceives this as an action that is extremely necessary for a person to survive. Once the pleasure of sex supersedes all other pleasures, sex becomes the most important part of life. Thus, hobbies and friends are relegated to the background, and sexual actions move to the front.

What makes addicted? A significant role is played by the environment of a person. Very often, sexual addiction is observed in people from dysfunctional families who have few reasons to enjoy life, do not have hobbies, and whose lives are monotonous. It often happens that in a family where there is a sexual addict, there are also people suffering from other dependencies. It is also very difficult to abstract one’s dependence, because a person sees — “sex near me.” It is in art, and on television, and in even simple talk — almost everywhere. For a healthy person this is normal, but for a person dependent on sex this situation becomes a constant reminder of his problem.

Symptoms of Sexual Addiction

To diagnose the appearance of sexual dependence beforehand is very difficult, because unlike other addictions, it can manifest itself in completely different ways. Often, it begins with an increased number of sexual acts, where the person still can control the situation. Excitation, satisfaction, and a sense of situation control causes the maximum production of dopamine and serotonin, and causes the brain to remember these actions as necessary acts for survival.

Symptoms of sexual dependence are different. That is why it is so difficult to identify them. A lot of people like different intimate pleasure, so it’s hard to understand where the line is between normal and abnormal behavior.

Emotional

Like any addiction, sexual addiction affects the emotional sphere. Symptoms include the following:

• inability to control and restrain one’s desires;
• ignoring the desires of their partners;
• female or male obsession with the desire to fall in love or be beloved;
• constant short-term relationships with no breaks between them;
• person cannot stop doing this, although he understands that his actions lead to financial and physical troubles or problems with the law;
• feelings of guilt and fear for what was done;
• giving up friends and hobbies for sexual pursuits;
• a sense of anger and panic if a person cannot satisfy his sexual needs;
• unsuccessful attempts to abandon sexual actions;
• the addicted person is not stopped by fact that he can lose family and friends, catch a fatal incurable disease, get a physical trauma or inflict it, or lose his job and capacity to pay.

In this state, a person is ready to put everything on the line for the satisfaction of sexual desires. This is the main sign of the disease.

Physical

The physical signs of being addicted at the beginning may be fairly rare. However, with time, they become clearly visible. These include:

• rapid change of sexual partners or craving for frequent acquaintances, which can potentially become sexual;
• compulsive masturbation;
• frequent visits to prostitutes or prostitution when the goal is not money;
• cybersex;
• constant viewing of pornography;
• exhibitionism;
• desire for sexual perversion, ignoring the usual options for copulation;
• frequent sex without any protection.

If you find several signs from both lists, think about your unhealthy condition and consider that you may need help. If this happens to your loved ones, do not make a scandal, and instead discuss this problem (if you have emotional contact). To explain to addicted person that he is wrong is very hard, especially if you are not a psychologist or sexologist. The patient has a destroyed personality, and his values ​​are completely changed, so even hard ultimatums may not work.

What Side Effects Can Be?

Sexual addiction can significantly worsen a person’s life and even prematurely stop it, because consequences of this disease concern all spheres of human life. Most addicts have low self-esteem and often experience a strong sense of guilt. If they are married, then in a neglected stage of addiction the family usually collapses. Also, ties with relatives and friends become broken – some refuse to communicate with the addict, but often the dependent person himself removes all those who do not share his interests — they are simply not interesting to him and lose all value in his eyes.

Depression and anxiety are harassing to people who have a sexual addiction. With this background, alcoholism or drug dependence are often developed, as well.

A lot of sexual addiction types (for example, exhibitionism) are illegal, and addicts sooner or later get into problems with the law. Since dependent people lose interest in everything that does not fit their desires, they often cannot work and lose their jobs.

According to the Departmental Management of the USDA statistics, about 40% of people who have sexual addiction suffer from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and more than 70% of female addicts had an unwanted pregnancy.

Differences in Sex Addiction Between Men and Women

As already mentioned above, the problem of sexual addiction concerns men and women. Although the problem for them is the same, it can be caused by various reasons, as there are some differences.

For men the most typical manifestations are:

• voyeurism;
• use of prostitutes services;
• sex with subordinates;
• anonymous sex, etc.

Most men are interested in personalized sex because they enjoy not only their actions, but also the response. With addiction, men usually increase the frequency of their sexual activity. If a person watches porn sometimes, then with dependence this viewing can become endless or he can start to regard women as disposable, etc.

Things can be different with women — many of them enjoy controlling the situation and having power. Therefore, they often use the role of seductress, like in role-playing games, fantasy sex, BDSM, sex in exchange for something, etc. As Erica Garza writes, a woman who was cured of sex addiction, she began to masturbate at the age of 12, had psychological problems, and felt guilty for her actions. She used to meet sexual partners who treated her badly because she was sure that she was not worthy of love.

Am I Addicted to Sex?

If the sexual addiction has started its “black business,” the earlier it will be identified, and the more chances there will be to successfully get rid of it. Otherwise, this ailment can destroy person’s life and harm the lives of his loved ones.

Is it possible to identify this problem by yourself? Yes. Still, the final diagnosis can be made only by a specialist.

To understand if you are addicted, answer the following questions for yourself honestly:

• can you manage your sexual desires?
• does your sex life exhaust you and weaken you both physically and morally?
• do you give promises to stop picking up strangers, but every time break them?
• do you feel guilty and ashamed of your sex life?
• do you periodically you consider your sexual desires as terrible and disgusting, but can’t stop your actions?
• has sex become a ritual for you, much more significant than other areas of your life?

If you answered positively to at least a few questions, then it is likely that you need to contact a sex therapist and the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) fellowship. This is especially important if you have any other addictions (narcotic, alcoholic). Do not be afraid to tell the doctor about your problems, as a neglected illness can be much worse than shame in front of a specialist.

How to Treat Sexual Addiction

Any addiction, including sexual one is difficult to treat because of the fact that people deny their dependence. Their dependence is so precious to them that they find many ways to justify it. The first step to treating the disease is to recognize the fact that there is a serious problem.

There is an organization to help sexual addicts anonymously (S.L.A.A.), which offers a program for getting out of dependence with 12 steps. They also show the person that he is not alone in his problem, and he has nothing to be ashamed of. For many addicts this is a very important point — he will not feel like an outcast. These programs allow a person to manage their state and restrain their impulses correctly so that there will be no breakdowns or remorse because of them.

There are also programs in which a person stays in a hospital under the supervision of doctors. The absence of habitual surroundings and temptations, as well as the presence of psychological support, help a person (at least temporarily) escape from their addiction. Sometimes even a short period of “calm” helps to significantly improve the situation.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps a person to reconsider their behavior and change their thinking. Due to this, the patient’s disruptions occur less and less, as he begins to understand how much his actions harm him.

Often in the treatment of sexual dependence, patients are prescribed antidepressants or sedatives. Since addicts often suffer from depressive disorders with their addiction, medications help them to calm down. Sometimes stress can push people to addiction, so reducing it leads to a significant improvement in their state.

The support of the people closest to the dependent person is very important. It is very difficult to maintain communication with the addict and tolerate him. Still, it is important to understand that this is a disease, so do not push the person away — now he needs your support more than ever.

Can Sexual Addiction Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

By itself, addiction does not lead to erectile dysfunction, but it can cause various sexual disorders. For example, a man obsessed with masturbation may not have sexual interest in real women, so with a woman there will be no strong erection.

Also, ED can develop in men who during the period of sexual addiction had a burden on their health or had an STD. However, even in this case, they can again have a solid erection with the help of PDE5 (phosphodiesterase 5) inhibitors (for example, Viagra, Cialis, Kamagra, etc.).

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